I saw this post at cousin's blog & decided to put it here too.
it's sweet. but sad. When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, "I’ve got something to tell you." She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce.." I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?"
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!" That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce," she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "don’t tell our son about the divorce." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "all my dresses have grown bigger..." I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.Our son came in at the moment and said, "Dad, it’s time to carry mum out." To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, "I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy."
I drove to office, and jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore."
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. "Do you have a fever?" She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart." That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.~
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
12:43 AM on ourloveyacht
Seems like i've been loving my blog less and less eh? You know how it is. Sometimes i just don't feel like sharing anything at all and go into semi-withdrawal or blame it on my busy schedules ahead. Here are a couple of things though. Just for the sake of posting.
1) It's been a few days since i started my work over at the childcare. I'm starting to get used to it, but it still feels a bit unreal. In just 2 years, the infant teachers have mostly left but came along several ones whom i know too. So coincidental. (: But unfortunately, most of the time i'll be at new side. The HQ side has transformed into another new childcare and currently i'm at the infants and playgroup. Anyway, i would say kids nowadays are damn fortunate. And could you believe it, parents are being so generous to be using a 'Kate Spade' bag for containing the babies items, 'Crumpler' bag and 'LV purse for a 2 year old kid? Gosh.
Oh yes, did i mention i met Ms Hameiza (Ex-ite lecturer) there? She'll only be there for prolly 2 weeks. The world is so small, and just yesterday, my ex-colleague (Lily) came for an interview at my side. I can't wait to work with her once again after 2 years. hahah.
2) This year i'm turning 20 and i can't accept the fact but i've to. Although age is really just a number on your ID, unfortunately a number which tells you what physical state your body is and one by which many people do discriminate anyway. I wonder if I can be as strong as my mum.
3) Disagreements with bf which i don't wish to elaborate further. We hadn't been texting much recently either.
It's a happy to sad post hah. But life has to go on, right? Just exactly in which direction, I'm not entirely sure at the moment.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
11:53 AM on ourloveyacht
The weather is still insanely hot, but we've been having alternate hot and rainy days now. Today was pretty much unbearable and I'd the nerve to choose this day to do shopping. But it's all done, and i got home with 1 skirt, 2 tops & few pieces of accessories. \m/ It wasn't much of a splurge, but i'd to get those for certain occasions. So yeah.
Since having to watch my spendage these days means i won't be suckered into getting overpriced and therefore less-prevalent items (that is my only objective - to be less like everyone else on the street - and not because i only like expensive things), i've also discovered that dredging through shops is usually an exercise in futility. Everything seems to operate on this one rule: If i see something i like, it's always when i don't need it and therefore can't justify getting it. And when i go out with the intention of getting something i need, i can never find anything i like! I'm so doomed.
Anyway my appt was postponed to this Friday as Karen's on mc today. Gonna head down to somewhere to get my skirt altered, so troublesome.
Yes yes, i'm meeting the girl today for a crazy picnic and never-ending chats! Woo-hoo!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
9:20 PM on ourloveyacht
I saw this post at cousin's blog & decided to put it here too.
it's sweet. but sad. When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, "I’ve got something to tell you." She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce.." I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?"
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!" That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce," she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "don’t tell our son about the divorce." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "all my dresses have grown bigger..." I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.Our son came in at the moment and said, "Dad, it’s time to carry mum out." To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, "I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy."
I drove to office, and jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore."
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. "Do you have a fever?" She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart." That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.~
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
12:43 AM on ourloveyacht
Seems like i've been loving my blog less and less eh? You know how it is. Sometimes i just don't feel like sharing anything at all and go into semi-withdrawal or blame it on my busy schedules ahead. Here are a couple of things though. Just for the sake of posting.
1) It's been a few days since i started my work over at the childcare. I'm starting to get used to it, but it still feels a bit unreal. In just 2 years, the infant teachers have mostly left but came along several ones whom i know too. So coincidental. (: But unfortunately, most of the time i'll be at new side. The HQ side has transformed into another new childcare and currently i'm at the infants and playgroup. Anyway, i would say kids nowadays are damn fortunate. And could you believe it, parents are being so generous to be using a 'Kate Spade' bag for containing the babies items, 'Crumpler' bag and 'LV purse for a 2 year old kid? Gosh.
Oh yes, did i mention i met Ms Hameiza (Ex-ite lecturer) there? She'll only be there for prolly 2 weeks. The world is so small, and just yesterday, my ex-colleague (Lily) came for an interview at my side. I can't wait to work with her once again after 2 years. hahah.
2) This year i'm turning 20 and i can't accept the fact but i've to. Although age is really just a number on your ID, unfortunately a number which tells you what physical state your body is and one by which many people do discriminate anyway. I wonder if I can be as strong as my mum.
3) Disagreements with bf which i don't wish to elaborate further. We hadn't been texting much recently either.
It's a happy to sad post hah. But life has to go on, right? Just exactly in which direction, I'm not entirely sure at the moment.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
11:53 AM on ourloveyacht
The weather is still insanely hot, but we've been having alternate hot and rainy days now. Today was pretty much unbearable and I'd the nerve to choose this day to do shopping. But it's all done, and i got home with 1 skirt, 2 tops & few pieces of accessories. \m/ It wasn't much of a splurge, but i'd to get those for certain occasions. So yeah.
Since having to watch my spendage these days means i won't be suckered into getting overpriced and therefore less-prevalent items (that is my only objective - to be less like everyone else on the street - and not because i only like expensive things), i've also discovered that dredging through shops is usually an exercise in futility. Everything seems to operate on this one rule: If i see something i like, it's always when i don't need it and therefore can't justify getting it. And when i go out with the intention of getting something i need, i can never find anything i like! I'm so doomed.
Anyway my appt was postponed to this Friday as Karen's on mc today. Gonna head down to somewhere to get my skirt altered, so troublesome.
Yes yes, i'm meeting the girl today for a crazy picnic and never-ending chats! Woo-hoo!
Happily Attached
Loves her Boyfriend,
Lexson Lim
25/02/09,
a date etched in my mind.
Her AdoresY
Art | Sports | Music | Piano
Shopping | Travelling | Australia
Ski-ing | Thrills & Adventures
Sun-tanning | Ice-cream | Mango
Sushi | Ice-milo | Green Tea
Purple Red CherryRed White
Winnie the Pooh
Children & Babies
Her DislikesY
Lies & Betrays | Arrogrants Insects | Boredom
Her DesiresY
New Camera | New Wallet
Snowflake Necklace
New Piano | New Bowling Ball
New tops & dresses
Travel all around the world
Try Bungee Jumping
Holiday trips with Family & Friends Good Grades |
Driving license Go yachting
